


i just need everyone and then some

by dankobah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Cancer, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Drinking, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Heiress!Rey, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Rey Palpatine, but he gets mentioned a lot, copius food description, kind of, more like a marriage of convenience, palpatine dies before the story opens so, staff!ben, watch these two odd humans navigate a marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:08:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24343276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dankobah/pseuds/dankobah
Summary: And then her heart broke at the reading of his will.Rey isn’t allowed to take over his estate until she finds a suitor and marries him.  The whole notion is very 1900s and not her.  She can’t even describe the stink she made when the lawyer told her so, storming out and walking back in repeatedly to ask further questions.Rey has nowhere she can find a man.  Anytime she makes the forty-minute drive to town is purely focused on errands and not men hunting.  It’s foolish to try, especially when she’s twenty-three and mourning.
Relationships: Kaydel Ko Connix/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 57
Kudos: 205
Collections: A Picture is worth 1000 Words - PL Summer Exchange





	1. you can hear it in the silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Takodonna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takodonna/gifts).



> tags are listed above! more will be added, and smaller ones will be put at the beginning of a chapter in the author's note.
> 
> i hope you enjoy this donna! <3

Life is hard when you’re so reclusive. 

Rey doesn’t mean to be so much like her grandfather, hiding in the shadows and keeping to herself to a point of agoraphobia. Ever since he’s died, she’s become worse, haunting the house instead of living in it. Grief is a scary thing to drown in when you’re a girl like her. She’s dealt with abandonment from her parents, she’s dealt with tutors leaving, but a girl normally so calm and collected broke when her grandfather died.

And then her heart broke at the reading of his will. 

Rey isn’t allowed to take over his estate until she finds a suitor and marries him. The whole notion is very 1900s and not her. She can’t even describe the stink she made when the lawyer told her so, storming out and walking back in repeatedly to ask further questions. 

Rey has nowhere she can find a man. Anytime she makes the forty-minute drive to town is purely focused on errands and not men hunting. It’s foolish to try, especially when she’s twenty-three and mourning.

Today is no exception. Rey lazes on the couch; she’s dismissed all the staff (except one) in opt of being sad in peace. She doesn’t mind being this sad for this long at this point; other emotions are unfamiliar now. She takes a moment to check her overgrown nails, knowing they need to be cut. Another side effect of depression is not taking care of herself. 

Her grandfather would berate her by now if he saw her like this. Instead, the only person who might see her is Ben. 

Ben is the groundskeeper, keeping up with all the landscaping year-round and making their lives easier. Palpatine had hired him after his old employer died ever so mysteriously. Gossip says Ben did it, but no one could prove that Snoke dropping dead was his fault.

It made it hard for him to get a job, so Palpatine threw him a bone.

If Rey could be candid, she has an infatuation with him. She used to sit on the front lawn and watch him trim trees during the spring when her grandfather was very sick. Ben always had his shirt off, showing off a defined chest and a set of ab muscles that make her insides quiver. He used to look at her when picking the apple trees, taking a bite out of one, and letting the juice drip off his lips and down his chin…

Rey snaps her fan open, given that the house doesn’t have central air. It has radiators for heating but otherwise; they suffer in the sweltering summers. She fans herself with the matching black fan, feet kicked out on the couch. Her eyes slowly blink, focusing on the dust on the coffee table.

Maybe she shouldn’t have gotten rid of all staff. She wonders if they’d come back for the right price? Or if her future husband will hire the staff? She gags to herself, trying to picture the man in her head. Would he be thin? Portly? Balding? Perhaps they would be as big as a house, as strong as an ox. Perhaps they would make her so happy, would put their head between her legs and lick and suck like the visions her dreams conjure. 

Rey’s not completely alone: she has internet porn. She has friends online who are probably wondering where she is, and online classes to enroll for the fall. She’s a late bloomer with her college degree, following in her grandfather’s footsteps and studying poli-sci. She’s only twenty-three, with so much ahead of her.

And all she needs is money to make it happen. Rey knows how loaded her grandfather was, he told her the exact sum on his deathbed. She’ll take it to her grave. 

Rey sighs to herself and stands up, smoothing out her dress and deciding that maybe for once, she should get some fresh air. Walking out of the parlor, she steps through the messy kitchen, at the dishes that need to be done. Rey’s been barely eating but she never cleans up after herself when she does.

She makes it outside, into the sunshine. Picking up her sandals that sit next to the door, she surveys the amount of land they own, at all the woods they cleared. The wraparound deck holds a hot tub that she used to use all the time.

Now? She’s abandoned all the things that have made her happy. 

She walks down the three steps to sit in the grass, letting the sun bake her and make her whole.

She just wants to feel alive again.

\- - -  


Ben knows the lady of the house is drowning. 

He feels awkward calling her that, thinking of her as a simple girl instead of a woman. Rey acts like she doesn’t know what to do anytime he sees her, looking lost and confused as she stares at whatever is taking her attention.

He loves his job, but he wonders why she fired everyone else and kept him to do the landscaping. Does she only want the outside to look correct? She’s better off selling this place and getting all the money from it. Then she can run off to some big city and live like a queen.

It strikes him that Rey might not know what to do, that much is obvious as she sits outside in the grass. Her dress is black for the sixteenth day in a row, and he wants to see her in white again. Ben wanders close to her, keeping his distance, so he doesn’t offend her with the smell of sweat. He’s been trimming bushes all day, cutting them back for the summer growth spurt they get. He knows quite a lot about horticulture from college and working fields and greenhouses alike. 

She doesn’t seem to notice he’s there, and that cuts deeper than he thought it would. Ben clears his throat and gains her attention. She looks over at him, and her eyes are red rimmed from crying. This is an unwelcome sight.

Ben asks anyway, “Nice day, right?”

Rey nods, looking a little shell-shocked he’s speaking to her. Ben couldn't care less, knowing that she needs some interaction to thrive and survive. No one can just go without; he’s tried many times.

Then he bites his lip and asks, “Too hot indoors?” He notices the fan next to her, and he wonders why they just haven’t outfitted the place with AC. 

She replies, “I…”

She’s struggling with words and suddenly gets up, like she’s been shocked with jumper cables. Then she whips her head to him and answers, “Uh...I guess. I need to go inside.” She wrings her hands as she turns her back to him. Then she walks away, leaving him behind to wonder if he made a mistake in talking to her. Palpatine told him he would skin him alive if he was ever caught talking to his granddaughter.

Palpatine is gone though.

And what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

\- - -  


She’s made an absolute fool of herself.

Why did she run away when he just asked a simple question? It’s not like anyone is watching her anymore, waiting for the precious girl to fall off the tightrope and into the clutches of someone entirely too bad for her. Her grandfather would  _ loathe  _ the fact that she’s talking to a man like him.

But then the wheels in her brain turn in a grating way, the cogs clunky and getting stuck occasionally. 

She needs to marry a man to secure her fortune. There’s only one man in her vicinity, and he fits the big category perfectly. Other categories? She’s unsure about it but all of this checks out on paper. Rey takes a deep breath and forces herself to turn back around, walking to the back door and yanking it open to walk right into his chest.

Apparently he had been waiting at the door and she hiccups in shock, his hands reaching for her shoulders to steady her from the force in which she ran into him. She screws her head to look up at him, his hands remaining. Ben watches her warily, and she speaks without allowing it.

“I need to ask you something and you can’t think I’m insane until I explain what it is I’m asking.” 

His hands drop and he crosses his arms over his chest. He looks huge when he does that and Rey sucks in a deep breath and rushes out, “I’m not eligible for my inheritance from my grandfather until I marry. He thinks I am unstable.” 

His eyes widen and she goes on, “I’m willing to offer anything if you just make this easy for me.” 

Ben shakes his head to himself and Rey is whimpering, “You’re not listening.” 

“With all due respect, it's because your idea is bat shit.” Has she offended him? Why would she be so foolish to think he would marry her with such a shitty proposal? Or after barely even knowing each other. Going lucid out of depression feels like being held under ice water for too long, lungs burning and eyes watering as she keeps her eyes screwed on the ground.

There’s an interminable pause, too awkward, and she fills it, unfortunately. “Forgive me, I wasn’t thinking-“

“What’s in it for me?” 

The penultimate question that she did not expect. He stares expectantly and she nervously states, “Access to my fortune, a bedroom in the house, and...“ She doesn’t say the last part because offering your body is for whores. Resourceful for sure, but whores nonetheless. She can practically hear her grandfather spouting it over dinner again. 

But marriages need to be consummated, right? Just the thought of it makes her all tingly, his rough working hands on her tender skin, coming down to slap across her ass with viciousness unmatched. 

_ Maybe _ , a tiny voice whispers,  _ he’ll let you call him that word you like so much when he does. _

Her eyes shut for a moment and he answers, “I’m sure you understand I need to think this through.” 

What’s there to think about? This has got to be the best offer he’s ever gotten. Rey keeps going, “I wouldn’t make you work anymore.” 

He retorts, “Let’s get one thing straight, I enjoy working. Keeps my mind off stuff.”

She swallows the lump in her throat, not liking his sardonic tone. Is she making a mistake? Ben says, “Give me time to think it through, okay? You can’t get everything you want, sweetheart.” The nickname is new to her cerebrum, and she latches onto it like a baby to a breast. 

Sure she can’t get everything she wants, but she’ll try.


	2. ashes inside of my lungs (i couldn't beg for your love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That sounds less than fun honestly but she finds herself wondering what she has to lose. “Can you drive?”
> 
> He nods, “I know the route like the back of my hand. I’ll get us there safely.” That’s not her top priority; if Rey were being honest she’d love to succumb to a car crash to avoid the absolute fuckery that is marrying your hot gardener. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags  
> mention of dying without a partner  
> food eating/coffee drinking  
> the mundaneness of grocery shopping

Ben takes a long time to think about it.

Mainly because the offer is so left field that it throws him for a loop. Rey’s barely looked in his general direction in the past, so he didn’t expect her to be begging for his hand. 

_ Or begging for his body _ .

He must be mistaken if he thinks she was begging to fuck him. She’d never fuck someone like him, his nose too big and rage too much. Besides, she’s twenty-three in comparison to his thirty-three, and that would make people raise their brows.

_ That’s also ten years less with her _ .

He needs to snap out of it, he knows so as he paces his cottage. It’s basically one room, a kitchen and a bedroom together, with an en-suite bathroom. All the rest of the staff stayed in the house with the family, having enough bedrooms for it. The manor is fucking huge, and he’s wondering if Rey is even managing the inside.

There’s only one way to find out, but he requires a suave move before he does it. Plucking a red rose from the garden, they’re nearly dead from the heat. If it weren’t for his tender nursing of them, they’d be goners like Palpatine. How convenient for him to die at the beginning of the summer, leaving her to drown without him. 

He then heads for the house, stepping onto the deck and ringing the back doorbell. He hears it ring in the house, and she doesn’t come after five minutes of waiting. That concerns him and he rings it again, before opening up the surprisingly unlocked door and stepping inside.

Rey hasn’t been managing the inside, apparently. Dishes are piled in the kitchen, some on the counters as well. There’s no food left out, fortunately, but the dishes is a problem that needs to be solved fast. He doesn’t know the layout well, only being in here a couple of times and pretty much in Palpatine’s office only.

He calls, “Rey?” 

His voice carries through the house and he keeps walking, to the foyer with the grand staircase to take him to the wings upstairs. This place is spooky, with ticking clocks and art whose eyes follow you. He walks up the stairs, the sixth step especially creaky. 

He makes it up to the top step, not knowing where to go from here. He was never even allowed in this house before, all of that changing when Palpatine croaked. So how is he supposed to know where her room is?

She makes it easy for him when he calls her name through the halls once again. Rey peeks her head outside a door down the right hallway. Her hair is still back in three buns and she views him with a weary and wary gaze. He thrusts out the rose, and she plucks it from his hand carefully, avoiding the thorns.

While she holds it to her nose, Ben states, “I’ll marry you, on a couple of conditions.” 

Her face lights up. He continues, “We hire more staff, you actually talk to me like a human being, and by the end of the summer, we figure out what to do with this house.”

Rey surveys him and he caps it off with, “Those are my conditions.”

She doesn’t hesitate, “I accept your conditions, I’ll look into the staff tomorrow. Can we discuss this over coffee in the morning?”

Can she even brew her own coffee? He guesses he’ll find out. 

“Yes. We’ll discuss it over coffee.”

\---

French presses are some of the most confusing things she’s ever come into contact with.

Rey’s never had to make her own coffee before, she hasn’t been drinking it since firing everyone. She’s donned a black wrap dress, with a plunging neckline. A locket hangs above her breasts, and bounces against her chest as she walks to the walk-in pantry. She’s been living off pantry staples lately, having no one to do the shopping. Rey is fucking inept at cooking and grocery shopping, but she’s been rather resourceful in her depression. 

There’s a knock that makes her jump out of her skin, and it’s Ben at the back door. She’s locked it in her late-night wandering of the house and she rushes for it, wrenching it open. He towers over her, in a blue linen shirt and shorts. It’s expected to get blazing hot again, and she can already feel the mugginess creep into the forest they live in.

She moves to the side to let him in, bare feet slapping across the kitchen tile. She goes back to trying to find coffee in the pantry. She can hear Ben’s boots clunk to the table, plopping down with an old creaky sound. 

She cannot find coffee for the life of her and awkwardly comes out of the tiny room. She clasps her hands together and rocks on her heels as she says, “I can’t seem to find any coffee-“

Ben nods and rises. “Can you drive?”

What a perplexing question for the current predicament. It’s not like they can drive to get coffee, it’s over forty minutes away with little to no cell signal. Ben stares expectantly and says, “I asked a question.”

Rey replies, “I can but isn’t it a little far for coffee?”

Ben shakes his head, “I will help you get groceries too. We’ll make a trip out of it.” 

That sounds less than fun honestly but she finds herself wondering what she has to lose. “Can you drive?”

He nods, “I know the route like the back of my hand. I’ll get us there safely.” That’s not her top priority; if Rey were being honest she’d love to succumb to a car crash to avoid the absolute fuckery that is marrying your hot gardener. 

Rey hasn’t been to town since her grandfather died, his last hospice review being at home. They sent nurses for as long as they could, and she wonders what he thought about while he was dying. She’ll never know and it eats away at her. “Go get shoes on.”

She walks numbly to the foyer, seeing her favorite scuffed white sneakers out from the last time she decided to go outside with shoes. That had been forever ago as well and she slips them on before taking the stairs to grab her purse. It’s designer, of course, a (shocker) black Fendi Peekaboo tote with a blood-red interior. 

He’s in the foyer when she comes back down, hair swept out of his face. She steps right up to him, fishing through her purse for sunglasses to settle on the bridge of her nose. They make their silent walk to the six-car garage, empty except for three cars. Her grandfather died with a BMW X5 in his possession, a glossy black. Then there’s her car, a red Jaguar F-Type that won’t be able to fit any groceries.

Ben takes his keys after all, and the lights flash on a giant black pick-up truck. She’s never ridden in a pickup truck before. Rey was homeschooled so she never got to know anyone, being so isolated out in the woods. The internet is thankfully her reprieve, but she hasn’t been on a computer in a few weeks for obvious reasons.

She’s also neglected her cellphone, leaving it in her purse and sitting on do not disturb. She’s totally dark for all intents and purposes. Ben opens her door for her and she climbs inside of the cab. The inside is nice and cushy, with big bucket seats. She clicks the seatbelt into place and he gets into the car as well.

Turning the key in the ignition, the engine roars to life. He clicks the garage door button and backs out when it raises enough for his liking. Rey focuses out the window, wishing she clipped her nails and washed her face this morning. She did shower the night prior for the first time in days, realizing she probably proposed marriage to Ben while smelling like rot.

She subtly sniffs herself and her perfume has lingered from when she sprayed it on before bed. Ben drives silently and carefully, only asking, “Lean out the window and press the gate button for me, sweetheart.” 

She does as she’s told, being careful with her dress.

Though maybe things would get a little more interesting if it slipped.

\---

Ben likes town. The landscaping store is here, along with any modern convenience that one could think of.

Rey seems to look even more nervous when they hit city limits and slow down considerably. The first task on his mind is coffee and a scone, and Rey looks rather thin so she needs a scone too. He manages to find a parking space in front of Takodana’s Cafe, cutting the engine and looking over at her. 

She looks a little bamboozled and he says, “It’s the best hot coffee you can get. Their baked goods are also delicious.” Then he gets out of the car, looping around and opening up her door for her. She bites her lip as she gets out, bringing her purse with her and shuffling to the door with him. 

Ben is a gentleman and opens the door for her, watching her step into the kitschy mountain-like coffee shop. There are buffalo check accents and pine paneling, and she’s looking around as Ben steps into line with her and takes a look in the baked goods case.

There are plenty of scones left and he points to one, “Which do you want?”

“Oh I’m not very hungry-“

“I insist. Which one? They’ve got blueberry lemon, clementine, and cranberry orange.”

She replies, “Uh, blueberry lemon I guess.” She reaches into her purse, fishing out her wallet. 

He shakes his head, “I’m paying, sweetheart.”

She looks up at him and drops her wallet back in her bag. That also brings up a question in his mind. “How long until you get cut off?” 

Rey answers, “It was sixty days from the date of his death. Which means we have forty-five days left to get married.”

He nods and curses the evil bastard for not believing in his granddaughter enough to give her the decency of an easy inheritance. To call her unstable (even if she is acting predictably unstable after his death) is horse shit to the umpteenth degree. They should marry as soon as they possibly can, but he also doesn’t want to rob her of a wedding if she wants it.

Though a wedding would be a shit show given his status.

They step up to the counter and predictably, it’s Maz. Snoke lived closer to town so Ben could get coffee on his lunch if he wanted to. The older woman, with huge glasses, exclaims, “Ben Solo! I haven’t seen you in ages.” 

He swears the tips of his ears turn red and then Maz focuses on Rey with a gaze chock full of wonder. “What can I get you two?”

He nods to Rey and she orders, “Large latte with...do you have almond milk?”

Maz nods, “We do. Also got syrups.” 

She bites her lip, “Add in some vanilla too I guess. Also a blueberry lemon scone.”

Maz inputs this all in the cash register and then looks at him. “Clementine scone and a large hot coffee.” He’s predictable, and she inputs that as well. 

He tries to hand over his card but she waves him away, “On the house.”

“Thank you, Maz.” Rey is walking away to a table, plopping down at one in the corner. He saunters after her and sits across from her, checking on his truck out the window.

Then she asks, “Do you see yourself getting married?”

Ben asks, “Do you want honesty?”

She nods and he confesses, “No. But I know when someone needs something badly, and this just happens to work out for me in some ways too.” If he could rescue this drowning girl, keep her afloat, he would. He doesn’t know why given she hasn’t done anything for him in that vein.

Rey sighs and asks, “I’m sorry if I’m not what you expected in a wife.” Ben hates that she feels inferior and he wishes she could see herself. Even when depression soaked, she’s still magnetic and enigmatic. 

He inflates her ego like putting air in a bike tire, “I didn’t expect anything, so you’re already everything and more. I’m sure you could understand that.” He’s not used to wooing women, especially one in such a delicate state. No one would be able to deal with this adequately, grief being a funny thing.

Their coffee hits the bar with their scones, and he rises to grab it. He sets her scone and latte in front of her, and she sips her drink before making a satisfied face. 

Watching her enjoy her coffee and scone is a sight, and he can’t help but watch her and neglect his own food. She doesn’t seem to notice his attention, which is how he likes it.

\---

Rey has never been grocery shopping for a full two weeks before. 

Ben helps her out to the umpteenth degree, throwing in things he cites as “easy meals” and something “his dad would’ve done”. That breaks her heart, the fact that Ben has also lost someone close. She focuses on the shopping cart as they push it through each aisle, grabbing from the shelves and tossing things in. Eventually, he just stops asking for some items and throws them in the cart, knowing what she seemingly needs better than herself. If it were Rey’s choice, she’d starve. 

They make it to the frozen aisle and Ben loads up, throwing in bags of frozen vegetables and other items. Rey asks, “Why?”

“Because you still need to eat healthily.” Then she walks away to grab a box of Oreos on the cookies side of the aisle. Oreos were a luxury she was never allowed to have growing up. It was always yucky veggies and string cheese for snacks, 

Ben takes over pushing the cart, dwarfing it and making it look like a child’s toy. “As my wife, I would recommend you sometimes listen to me.”

She retorts breezily, “It would be dumb to just miss out on Oreos.”

Then she walks with him to the other freezer aisle, and she stops in the middle of the aisle as Ben collects things. She asks, “Have you had a girlfriend before?” 

He answers, “Not really.”

She confesses, “Me neither.”

Then she clarifies, “Boyfriend, I mean.” She’s not the most secure in her sexuality like any twenty-three-year-old girl. There’s a lot of variables she doesn’t like to think about. 

“I knew what you meant. Do you like frozen pizza?”

She nods, and that’s that.


	3. you may think you're winning, but checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then Rey says, “I was thinking they could witness our uh…”
> 
> She can't say the word for some reason, brain refusing to believe she’ll be a bride in less than forty-three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags  
> food eating   
> mental illness

Ben continues to do his work the next day, and he tasks Rey with finding staff. 

Rey wishes he wouldn’t work, secretly wanting to spend a lot of time with him and get to know him.

But he inspires her to look at her messages for the first time in weeks. There are quite a few, but the ones she zeroes in on are Rose’s.

Rose is one of her best internet friends, right next to Finn. They met on Reddit, which used to be one of her guilty pleasures until she grew up a little and got disinterested. Rose has always been so welcoming to her, and she feels awful for ghosting directly after her grandfather died.

Rose has sent her a lot of messages but her last one hits the hardest, sent only hours before she got out of bed for the day.

\---

**{ Rose - 4:03 PM }**

I hope everything is okay, I miss you and just want you to be okay honey

\---

Rey presses call immediately and puts it on speaker, sitting on the edge of her mattress and looking around at her mess. The phone rings once, twice, thrice, and four times before Rose answers.

“Rey?”

Rey replies, “The one.” 

Rose sighs in relief, “I thought you were dead, babe. You got to be better about contacting.”

Not looking to be berated, Rey defends herself, “My grandfather just died, cut me some slack.” She can practically see Rose's grimace.

Rey continues, “A lot has happened. I think it’ll all calm down soon. What’s the real estate market like in Manhattan right now?” New York City has always seemed interesting to her, but she also has to keep Ben in mind when she makes plans to move. He might not be a Manhattan type man.

“Expensive babe. What’s happened? I’m here to listen.” 

Rose is too good for her and Rey says, “Well I figured out that I can’t take over my grandfather’s estate until I marry. I have forty-four days. So that’s fun. I found someone to marry me though.”

“There’s nothing you can do to get out of it?”

“Nothing.”

Then she brushes her hair out of her face and gets up off the bed, looking at the sunset outside. She wanted to talk to Ben today, but she found it hard to get out of bed. Rose says, “Is he nice to you?”

“Who?”

“Ben.”

Rey nods to herself and answers, “Yes, very much so. He’s been nothing but nice.” 

Rose declares, “I’m coming to visit.” This is new and makes her heart quicken. Normally she’d protest that Rose couldn’t do that, but her grandfather isn’t here anymore. He can’t tell her what to do anymore, nor can Ben. 

She should still talk it over with him though and she says, “Can I talk to Ben about it first?” 

Rose replies, “Sure but text me his answer as soon as possible. I’ll need to get Kaydel to rent a car for me. You don’t mind if she comes right?” Kaydel is Rose’s partner, and they rarely talk. It’s pleasant when they do, but it’s just rare. 

“No, I don’t mind. I should probably go though, I need to eat something.” Her stomach is growling intensely.

Rose sounds displeased, “That’s fine. Remember, you need to text me soon okay?”

She promises, “Yes. Believe in me okay? Goodbye, thank you for caring about me. It means the absolute world, and if I weren’t so badI’d come visit you.”

“It’s okay, Rey. You’re trying your best. We’ll talk soon.”

Those words reassure her so much, and the line goes dead. Then Rey sets her phone back on the bed and walks into her closet. She chooses a pink pajama set with white piping, sliding the silk and cotton blend fabric on her body and buttoning up the top.

Rey then wanders out of the closet and down the stairs, walking through the kitchen to the door that goes outside. It’s twilight, the sky a pink and purple as the sun sets in the woods. She walks off the deck and into the freshly mowed grass. It feels prickly under her toes, reminding her she’s a real human being and she’s alive.

Ben’s cottage is lit up from what she can see and she steps onto the small front porch. Knocking on the door, she hears muffled music turn off and the door is yanked open by him. He’s wearing a black tee and sweats, socks on his feet as he looks down at her. Rey is a little nervous to encounter him after being in bed all day, displaying just how unstable she can be. She is not marriage material by any means.

His eyes look her up and down and relief flashes in his gaze. A blush rises on her cheeks and she says, “I know I was MIA-“

“Not really MIA when I know exactly where you are. I just didn’t want to bother you.” She feels awful.

Then she remarks, “I just...it was difficult to get up again. And I don’t know when it will not be like this anymore.” Ben gazes at her and she also says, “I’m sorry if I’m shitty.”

He shakes his head, “You’re not, sweetheart. I assume you haven’t eaten today so your head is all fogged up?” That’s an excellent way to describe the effects of grief, a foggy mirror in a room with a running shower. Only every time you try to wipe the mirror, more fog coats it.

She nods instead of really answering and he steps past her. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat so you can think again.” She looks bewildered for a moment before following close behind, Ben walking towards the house.

They enter the kitchen and he turns on the lights, and that’s when Rey notices all the dishes are done. “Did you-“

“Earlier today. I figured you’d need a little help with them.” He gets out a skillet and opens up the paneled refrigerator,

“Eggs sound good?”

She replies, “Sure.” Her stomach growls audibly, and he glances her up and down. Then he snorts and gets out the eggs, walking to the stove. Rey doesn’t know why, but she notices he walks like he’s got something huge between his legs. The thought is unfortunately erotic, and her thighs press together as she sits at the breakfast bar that the stovetop is inset into. She stares at him as he heats the pan, the nonstick nature making cooking a snap. 

The entire act of him cooking for her has her lewd thoughts racing, and she rubs at her eyes to wipe them out of her head. “How do you like your eggs?”

She shrugs, not knowing she had a preference. She eats anything put in front of her, a side effect from being abandoned for a brief time as a child. There were three years where she was living on the street, and she blots them out. Rey answers, quietly, “Whatever you want to give me.”

Ben looks up and says, “Fine, over easy with a runny yolk. I will find the eggs you like the most though.” He then cracks two eggs into the skillet and it sizzles upon contact, edges blooming white. She continues to delve into her thoughts at that, at the fact that Ben could cook for her for the foreseeable future. Unless he wants staff that does it for him, because Rey knows she could not cook complex and semi tasty meals for the life of her.

He cooks quietly and Rey likes that about him: he can sit in comfortable silence. She never feels like talking these days, feeling like she could accidentally burst into tears at any moment.

He finishes the two eggs and slides them on the plate, handing them over to her with salt and pepper. Rey cracks the salt and pepper a few times over the eggs and then eats, watching him go back to the fridge and get out a pack of bacon. Lighting the stove once more, he lays out a few pieces in the hot pan. 

Rey then asks, “Is it okay if my friends visit?”

He looks up and nods, “Of course.” The bacon crackles in the pan and she inhales the smell with her eyes shut. 

Then he asks, “Where did you meet them?”

Rey takes another bite to avoid the question, but she can’t for long as he stares expectantly. “Uh I met Rose on Reddit and Kaydel is her girlfriend. We’ve never actually met in person before.” 

He nods, and she wonders if he understands the complexity of her friendship with them. Rose is like her older sister, always there for her and always caring so much about the petty things that people don’t care about usually. Then Rey says, “I was thinking they could witness our uh…”

She can't say the word for some reason, brain refusing to believe she’ll be a bride in less than forty-three days. Ben understands what she’s saying anyway and flips the bacon over and Rey finishes her eggs. She gets up, walking to the fridge to pour herself a glass of orange juice. She might as well go the full mile if she’s eating breakfast at seven PM. 

She looks into the fridge as she drinks the orange juice. “How are you doing with staff?”

Rey looks over, “I’m not sure who you want to hire. Like what we need.”

He replies, “Anybody to help you survive. Cooks, maids, you know.”

Rey knows she’s presumptuous, but she says, “Well, I loved those eggs. Maybe I don’t need to hire a cook if I have you.” Marriage is asking for things, right? It’s needing things from your partner that you only want them to provide. Is she selfish for wanting Ben to take care of her right now?

Is she selfish for just wanting a soul to maybe give a shit?

Ben answers, “Perhaps. I would like another landscaper if possible. I’ll still do most of the work, I just don’t want to do the petty shit like picking fruit anymore if I will be busy with you.”

She asks, “Busy with me?”

“Taking care of you. I assume that’s what you need, right?” How can he see right through her? 

_ Maybe because depression makes you into a weak fucking baby _ .

She lies though because she doesn’t want to be an inconvenience, “I’ll pull myself out.”

Ben isn’t frustrated with her like she predicts, “I know, but help can’t hurt.”

Help can’t hurt.

But other things can.


	4. knees weak, but you talk pretty proud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four days pass by and Rey gets out of bed for some of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags  
> we earn our rating, with a strawberry no less  
> mental illness

Four days pass by and Rey gets out of bed for some of them.

She hires staff that starts after the weekend, and Ben thanks her profusely when she reveals she hired a lower level landscaper to help him out. He’ll take over the cottage while Ben will move into a separate bedroom in the house.

Overall, she’s eating, showering, and doing things on her computer. It’s not the most she could be doing, knowing she should be signing up for classes to start in the fall. She doesn’t even know where she’ll be in the fall. 

Rey decides to take a bath though, to clear her mind and get her clean as possible. Her bathroom is an en suite, and she takes time to get the temperature of the water perfect before filling the tub. Then she drops in some soaking salts, a bath bomb she’s neglected, and lights the candles she’s set around the base of the clawfoot tub. Then she pours in a bubble solution and walks back into her room to take a quick glance at her phone. She gave Ben her number, so he could warn her when he would be coming upstairs to deliver food or to talk. It’s like she’s a baby bird these days.

Ben has texted her.

\---

**{ Ben - 7:08 PM }**

Making you dinner right now. Do you like wine?

\---

Rey rather likes that question. She hasn’t drank in a long time it feels, and she’s ready to open up her palette to rich wine again. The estate has a huge wine cellar, Palpatine being an aficionado. Then she replies, not really caring if she decides to get wasted tonight.

\---

**{ Rey - 7:15 PM }**

i do, roses preferably. what are you making me?

\---

He replies immediately, and Rey sinks into the tub as it fills, looking at the reply.

\---

**{ Ben - 7:16 PM }**

Chicken parmigiana with a side of roasted Brussel sprouts. Sound good?

__________________________________

**{ Rey - 7:17 PM }**

sounds perfect, thank you :), ill be in the bath but ill come down to eat when youre done

\---

Then she locks her phone and sets it on the ground, on top of the towel for easy access, sinking further into the tub and letting the warm water soothe her achy bones.

\---

Ben knows she said she’ll come down to eat but he also just wants to help her out as much as he possibly can. 

So he heads upstairs, plate in one hand and bottle and glasses in the other. He’s gotten all his work done tonight so he figures he needs a little bit of a pick me up. The wine is a Rosé, light, and airy on the palette apparently. He’s more of a whiskey man but he’ll drink anything if it means sitting with Rey. He knocks on the bathroom door and hears the bath splash. “Oh uh...come in?” She sounds questioning and he comes into the restroom.

It’s lowly lit and she’s resting in the tub, turning to look over at him. Ben holds out his plate and she sits up, one arm covering her breasts as she takes it with the fork laid on top. She holds the plate like it’s a treasure and begins digging in, leaning the plate on the top of the sidewall of the tub. Ben sits back against the toilet.

He asks, “Did you like lunch?” He opted for semisimple today, BLTs taking over the plan. She nods enthusiastically.

“Yes, it was very delicious.” The praise makes his heart beat faster and he offers a small and fleeting smile. Then he pours the already uncorked wine into the glasses. Rey keeps eating, ignoring the alcohol in opt of actual nourishment.

He’s proud of her; most would turn to the bottle after a death so close. Instead, she’s just suffering sober, which makes him oddly respect her more than ever. He sips his wine, too sweet for his liking but he’ll tolerate it for his future wife who probably has too many reasons why she likes Rosé type wine.

Then she sets her plate on the floor then and takes a short gulp of the wine. Then she nods to herself and looks at him. There’s a question burning in the back of his mind that shoots itself to the top of the stack, and he asks, “Do you want a wedding dress when we wed?”

She nods and says, “I haven’t begun shopping for it yet. I don’t really know what I want.”

“That’s okay. It’s a tough decision you want to make sure is right.” He understands that her appearance is important to her, given all the fancy clothes she wears and how she carries herself.

Rey vows, “I’ll look tomorrow, I don’t think I’ll have enough time to do alterations with a bridal salon, so it’ll have to be straight sizes.” He nods, knowing what it’s like to not fit perfectly into a straight size. His shorts are either too tight in the crotch or falling off of him unless he gets them tailored. 

Then she bites her lower lip and takes another long sip of her wine, and he can imagine her doing this on nights when things were normal. Things are uprooted now and he can't imagine what her nightly routine must be like now.

She’s eating again and Ben already ate his portion downstairs, so he just sips his wine. He asks, “How’s school?”

Should he even ask? 

Rey sighs, “I...I don’t know. I didn’t sign up for summer stuff.” She seems a little regretful, but he knows that's bound to be a shitshow. 

He replies, “That’s alright. You might want to go to college somewhere else by the end of the summer.”

She says, quiet as can be, “I want to live in Manhattan.”

From a place where there are barely any people, to one of the densest cities in the United States, he wonders why the huge change. Is she running from something? 

He finds himself saying, “I just want a big garden. I want to feel useful.” He’s afraid she’ll think of him as a freeloader if he’s not working for her estate. Even though right now, he’s keeping her alive and well-fed beyond just tending to her plants. It reminds him that he has to cut down more hedges and pick the strawberries tomorrow.

Rey finishes her meal and says, with a full mouth, “I’ll get you the biggest garden. I promise.” 

He nods, hoping she’s being truthful.

\---

He’s picking strawberries when she steps outside, she can see him in the distance. The sun is beating down heavy in the clearing where the estate lies. 

Rey is wearing a plunging white mini dress made of linen, with puff sleeves. The skirt is relaxed and her socks are mismatched Ninja Turtles socks. She holds an iPad, with multiple wedding dresses open. She walks through the grass and down to where the berries grow in a deer-proof enclosure. 

He stands up straight when he sees her walking up, removing his wide-brimmed hat to keep the sun out of his face. He  _ smiles  _ when she walks straight up to him. “Hey, you.”

Rey blushes and thrusts out her iPad for him to stare at. “Which one do you like, I can’t really choose and-“ 

“Wait are these wedding dresses?”

She nods quickly and he pushes the iPad away and screws his eyes only to her face. “I’m not supposed to see your dress, it’s tradition.”

She huffs, “Well I can't exactly pick so I need help.”

“Don’t you have your friends who are coming to help you out?” He has a good point and Rose would love to choose her dress for her if she had the chance. 

Rey allows a nod and there’s another toothy smile. “You want a strawberry? They’re pretty ripe.” He holds out a strawberry, with green seeds and a red bottom that bleeds until it’s white at the top. She takes it from his hand and pops it in her mouth, avoiding the leafy top. Ben takes the top from her and tosses it on the ground to biodegrade. 

She nods as she chews, flavor exploding on her tongue and making her feel good inside for once. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, then licking her lips. “There are more strawberries but I assume you’ll want them tonight.”

_ Yes,  _ she thinks,  _ I’ll want you to feed them to me. _

Instead, she regretfully nods. No such thing can happen of course. Rey has been slowly accepting she’s going to be in a loveless marriage. She can’t get everything she wants.

Can she?

\---

Watching her eat a strawberry makes him practically tear into his cottage (after she walks away, of course) and fist his cock. He was hard since she put the fucking thing in her mouth, or maybe it was before that when she wanted his input on the wedding dress she’ll be wearing to marry him.

He pumps his hand a few times, reaching blindly for the lube in his bedside drawer. She’s probably a virgin and probably so tight, she’d probably keen and moan beneath him like a leaky faucet. Her cunt probably tastes like honey, and he’d fuck her deep and slow until she’s begging and shuddering.

During this descent to madness and how his hand slicks over his cock, he doesn’t notice that he left the front door to the cottage ajar.

Nor does he notice that she’s peeking behind the frame and watching him with eyes filled with adoration.


	5. it ain't funny, it ain't pretty, it ain't sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She devises a plan.
> 
> It’s a multi step plan to get Ben Solo in her bed, but still a plan nonetheless. Phase one is rather simple in theory: seduce Ben Solo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags   
> Daddy kink  
> Fingering  
> Mac and cheese eating  
> Mental health shit

She devises a plan.

It’s a multi step plan to get Ben Solo in her bed, but still a plan nonetheless. Phase one is rather simple in theory: seduce Ben Solo. 

If he has to masturbate after watching her eat a strawberry, she’s got it made. But Ben is also callous sometimes, and doesn’t ever physically touch her. She needs to get his hands on her, mainly so she feels like she has a body again.  _ Physical touch, _ according to Rose waxing poetic on an entirely different subject than this,  _ is important for people like us to feel whole. _

She settles into bed after she creeps away from Ben’s cottage, still looking through wedding dresses and eventually ordering three of them. She couldn’t choose, so why would she try and delay the process even longer? She wants what she wants, and she’ll get it. 

Moving her hair from her face, she stares as the clock turns six. He should be coming up the stairs for food any minute now and she giggles to herself for the first time in a long time. Rey thinks she might just show off her body, black and white Calvin Klein panties and sports bra on her frame. She pushes the covers down her body until her butt and back are showing themselves.

She hears Ben lumber up the stairs and opens her book to a random page. Pretending she’s been reading for ages. For a virgin girl, she’s doing quite well when she hears his sharp intake of breath. She looks over at him and plasters a winning smile on her face, knowing it’s a little faux. 

He’s made her steak and finds herself foolishly asking, “What’s the occasion?” It smells absolutely divine, of garlic and thyme and buttery mashed potatoes. 

Ben shrugs, handing her the sharp steak knife instead of answering, eyes on her ass. Her plan is working, but she doesn’t know how to kick it up a notch and potentially get him between the sheets. Rey eats quietly and watches him remain standing. She fantasizes about his cock as she licks her fork of potatoes, having seen how large it is first hand. 

His fist tightens and she smiles to herself. His head cocks and he asks, “Do you like it?”

She nods, “Best meal I’ve had, if I’m being honest.” She had lobster every year on her birthday, imported from Maine, and it still doesn’t compare to a man watching her eat a filet mignon they managed to grab from the grocery store with probably a hard-on in his shorts.

Her grandfather would be turning in his grave but he told her to marry, he requires it to inherit. She’s allowed to have some fun.

Ben asks, “Need anything else?” Clearly he’s had it with watching her eat, and she bites her lip.

“That’ll be all.” She sips from the water bottle on her bedside table, a new addition to her depression routine given to her by him. 

Ben nods, turning around and walking out of the room.

Something comes over her tongue, and whips out of her mouth before she allows it, what she’s seen in porn building up until it overflows. How do you thank a man in an overtly sexual way?

“Thanks, daddy.”

Then her hand clamps over her mouth, hearing the walking stop down the hall. She’s nervous he’s going to come back, that he’s going to ask her what the fuck her problem is. Rey doesn’t know her problem, all she knows is that it feels right from her tongue and he can rip it away from her.

But Ben starts walking again, stairs creaking.

She didn’t expect a lack of response. Her heart cracks in two, and she sets the plate aside, tears springing to her eyes.

Does Ben Solo really not like her that much?

\- - -

At first he thought he didn’t hear her right.

There’s no way that word came out of her mouth. He still doesn’t necessarily believe it a few days later, but her behavior gives away that he’s messed up somehow. She’s not eating and locking her room up, and it’s gotten to dangerous levels in his head after two days. He’s surprised his type-A type personality let her get away with it for this long, even though he knows someone could realistically survive a few more days without food.

He’s concerned about water intake, about her hurting herself in there somehow. He hasn’t really heard sound from it and he doesn’t want to think about what that could mean. He makes her fluffy pancakes and bacon for breakfast, even putting the syrup in a tiny side dish to impress her or some stupid shit like that. 

Then he heads upstairs, straight to her room and pounding on the door. “Rey? Open up.”

There’s no answer, no creak of the floorboards to signify she’s up. “Please? I’ve got pancakes with me and hot coffee downstairs.” He’ll neglect his work for the day if it means getting her out of her room. Did he hurt her this badly? To the point where she won’t even get out of bed? Is Ben actually a huge monster?

He finds the words rolling off his tongue, “Baby? Please open up.” That’s what she wants to be called, right? If she calls him daddy, she must want a complimentary name of her own. That's the only thing that makes sense to his worried brain.

“I’ll spend time with you, we’ll do something fun today like feed the ducks.” Would she like that? Or think it’s a chore?

“Just please come out. I’m really sorry for whatever I did.” He knows very well what he did but he doesn’t want to bring up the elephant in the room. 

He hears a creak, and then the door unlocks. She opens it up to reveal her hard face, arms crossed over her chest as she speculates on him. She looks showered and unscathed from what he can see. The tee on her body hits about mid thigh.

Ben offers out the plate quickly, wanting to maybe just get out of here. That would make him a quitter though. Rey takes the plate and walks back into her messy room. The back of her tee says “Heaven Sent, Hell Bound”, with two cherubs drinking wine. She plops down on the bed and begins to eat ravenously.

“Slow down, don’t choke.” She glares at him with a full mouth before continuing to eat despite his warning. He warms up to do the heimlich maneuver if he has to, knowing she’s not going to do anything he says. 

Rey hiccups and he watches her look briefly uncomfortable, rubbing her chest as she does. “See what happens when you eat too fast-“

“Leave me alone.”

It comes out like a branding iron on his skin and he feels briefly bad for how wounded she actually looks. She wrings her hands and Ben kneels down in front of her to show he’s basically in a subservient position to her and her only. “I know you heard me.”

He swallows, now getting confirmation of the source of her anger. “You heard me yet you didn’t say anything. Am I that unattractive?”

Ben begins to shake his head and Rey sighs in frustration. He continues, “I don’t think you’re ready for me to hear something like that.” Engaging with him sexually is a point of no return, the pursuit being alerted in his head already. He’s insatiable when he’s actually paid attention to, willing to drive millions of miles just for one taste of the person.

“Why does everyone swear they know what I’m ready for?” 

He shrugs, “Because you have an air of innocence-“

“I watch porn, Ben. I stick my fingers up my lonely cunt every night by myself to get some sleep. That’s not innocent by any means.” She has a fair point and he tries very hard not to think of her rutting against her hand, desperate to sleep. If only she had called him before, he’d eat her honey soaked cunt-

“Besides, I think I’m allowed to have kinks after twenty three years of life.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t. I just said that you might not be ready for a man like me.” 

“Please don’t flatter yourself that much, I can handle anything.” 

She might have a point, surviving a trial by fire brought on by a death. Then she continues to eat her pancakes, and Ben decides to introduce a compromise.

“I’ll let you call me daddy if you eat when I direct you.”

She shakes her head, “If you get no pleasure from it, I don’t want it.” That’s a fair point, and he can’t help but laugh.

“You think I didn’t get hard after I actually realized what you said?” He shakes his head to himself and Rey looks a little bewildered. Ben makes no move to touch her, still nervous she’s going to bite his fingers off like a rabid dog. 

He continues, “I’m not ready to have sex with you yet.” 

“And why is that?”

Ben explains, “Because I don’t think having actual sex during your grief period is a good idea. You didn’t eat for three days before this.” 

He then taps on her temple, “We need to get your brain healthy so you can form healthy emotional attachments again.”

She confesses, quietly, “It would be my first time.”

“And it’s better to wait for good things. Honestly, that also doesn’t mean I won’t come and touch you if you want me to. Especially if you can’t sleep.” Rey is slack jawed and clearly stunned at his offer, and he bites his lip. Did he go too far?

Though she asks, “Now?”

Ben has to regretfully shake his head. He has a lot to do today to prepare for staff arriving the next morning and day, and he’s pretty sure Mitaka could be arriving a day early to check out all the property. He’s looking forward to having help, especially as the fruit comes to harvest.

He explains, “Busy day today. Which is why I thought we could feed the ducks together.” He’d love to get her outside and into the sunshine for some much needed Vitamin D. 

She whispers, “I would like to feel you now-“

He goes out on a limb, “Listen to your daddy, sweetheart. Now please go get some form of shorts on so we can go feed ducks.”

She stares at him before huffing, walking into her closet. Ben remains in the doorway, allowing a small smile across his face.

He’s glad something works for her.

\- - -

Rey has another idea. 

Not as bad as the last one she had, but still a risky one.

Ben and Mitaka meet up during the afternoon, leaving her behind in the house. She uses that opportunity to clean up a little, making herself a mid-afternoon snack of strawberries and canned whipped cream. 

That’s when she plots her idea: making him dinner. She figures it would throw him for a loop and she wants to disarm him.

He bought her boxes of Kraft Mac and Cheese, which seems easy enough to make. She’ll make a few modifications of course, adding heavy cream instead of milk and a little bit more butter. She stands at the stove in her ribbed, long sleeve mini turtleneck dress. The black fabric clings to what little curves she has, a slit up the leg showing off her powerful and not yet atrophied thighs. She needs to work out again, but that takes a lot of effort and a trek to the home gym. She could also start sword fighting practice again, since she stopped going to the instructor when her grandfather got sick. 

She watches the macaroni begin to float in the water and the door opens up to reveal Ben. He’s sweaty, clearly worn out and trying hard to hide it. Rey stirs the water and then looks over at him, “I’m making macaroni and cheese. Do you like that?”

He responds, “Sounds delicious.” Rey nods and looks at the microwave timer again, before hearing him get up from his chair and walk over to her. 

“Want me to do the rest?”

She shakes her head and says, “I think I’m fine, daddy.” He nods and watches her from across the island, hands curling around the edge and holding onto it with white knuckles. The egg timer goes off and she silences it, then straining the pasta and putting it back in the pan.

“What can I get out for you?”

She bites her lip and says, “I serve you, remember?”

“Not exactly. Now tell me what I can do for you, baby.” He brushes hair out of his face as he walks around the island, getting very close to her while she turns to grab something out of the fridge. He stops her by extending an arm, and she pouts.

“Heavy cream and butter please.”

Ben raises his brows and then nods, turning to the fridge and rooting around. He takes heavy cream with his coffee, and she hopes he doesn’t mind lending some to the cause. Then he brings both ingredients back and sets them down next to her. He stands behind her, body pressed up against hers and arms spanning out to grip the counter on either side of her. He’s boxing her in and she doesn’t mind.

Rey then cuts the butter and puts in the appropriate amount, mixing it around the hot pasta to emulsify it and coat each noodle. Then she measures out cream by eyeballing it, and hands him the spoon, “Mix until the butter is melted.” 

Ben nods and she watches him slowly turn the noodles over with the spoon, occasionally rotating the pan. He treats it like art. Rey gets out the cheese packets and rips them open, waiting until the last bit of butter and cream mix together. Then she dumps the orange powder into the pot and Ben stirs again to mix it all together.

She watches and views his particularly strong forearms while he mixes, making her insides flutter like a billion butterflies. Her hand subtly reaches out to testingly squeeze the forearm that’s holding the bowl. Ben doesn’t mind this, clear by his small sneer when she looks up at him.

Eventually the cheese is incorporated and Rey’s belly is just nerves: she’s going to need to wait to eat so she doesn’t puke. She gives an awkward smile, “I might wait, I’m not really hungry-“

He dishes out two heaping bowls of steaming mac and cheese. Then he looks over, “You’re eating.”

She shakes her head, “I’m not hungry.” Her stomach is flipping back and forth, tossing her like she’s sitting on the sea. 

He holds out the bowl to her and she takes it with a huff. “We can go wherever you want.” 

The house is dark except for the kitchen, the waning twilight turning to night doing little to illuminate the halls or front rooms of the house. She whispers, “My room.” Then walks away, into the dark hallways, Ben following close behind. Ben had moved his stuff into the bedroom next to hers, so they could go to his but she’d rather be in her depression soaked nest.

She gets into bed, and Ben stands awkwardly as she gets comfortable. She then asks, “Why don’t you sit next to me?” There’s a nightstand for the other side of the bed, empty of anything but a lamp that hasn’t been on in years. He walks to that side and sits down, taking time to take his heavy boots off his feet. 

Rey sets her mac and cheese aside and lies on her back, inhaling deeply.

She hears chewing and turns on her side to face him in the bed. He looks satisfied with the meal as he eats it, then glancing down at her. Rey bites her lip and wrings her fingers, looking back at her socked feet. “Daddy?”

Ben asks, “Yes, baby?”

She responds with a small sigh, “When you said you would touch me-“

“You didn’t eat your dinner so I’m not going to touch you.”

How unfair, but she also assumes it is a little fair given that she promised to eat if she could call him the sacred name of “daddy”. She chances, “If I eat my dinner, will you do something for me?” 

He nods, “If that makes you eat your dinner, I’ll do it during it.” She giggles in delight and spreads her legs ever so slightly. She is wearing panties, which she wonders if he would be the type to prefer them off of her.

He asks, “Roll onto your other side so I’m behind you. Got that, baby?”

She nods and rolls on her side, and Ben nestles up close to her. Her back is touching his chest and his face tucks into her neck to softly breathe, “Take a few bites so I know you’re holding up your end of the deal.” 

She does as she’s told, raking through the noodles and collecting them on her fork. Then she sticks it in her mouth, lips closing around the metal. The processed cheese taste is somehow comforting, and it feels good on her stomach.

She eats more of it, and feels his hand creep between her legs, holding them open like a car jack would. When Rey was healthy, when she could actually cope, she used to watch mechanic videos on YouTube to calm down. He scoots her panties to the side and one finger dips into her wetness to drag through.

Being touched by someone else feels like a nebula exploding. She inhales deep and shoves more into her mouth to keep from moaning so soon. Ben laughs breathily, “So wet for me. You want daddy don’t you?”

She nods and her eyes flutter shut as one of his fingers pushes a little bit into her. Rey chews and swallows and whispers, “More.”

“Easy, one of my fingers is thicker than yours, little girl.” Maybe he’s right but she’s hungry for more, continuing to munch on the cheesy noodles. He fingers her slowly, probing around and feeling along her walls gently to really get to know her.

The attention feels so sweet, and she purses her lips before licking the fork and taking another bite. He’s a dream and she has to keep herself from saying so, unwilling to spill her guts about the man who cares for her.

Ben speaks, “Staff is coming tomorrow. Are you ready?”

She shakes her head and his finger pushes deeper, her breath hitching. “I’ll take care of anything you need. Just tell me what to do.” Having someone service her and then talk about further helping her out some more is panty wetting.

Rey deserves this. She knows she does. 

Is that healthy, to know you need something and deserve to get it? Human touch is a privilege for some, a right for others with partners. She feels alive, whole and right. “I’m here for you, I’m on your team baby.”

A second finger pushes into her and her eyes blow wide at the stretch. It’s a new kind of sting, but it subsides as quick as she notices it and is replaced by belly-warming fullness. She wants to melt into a puddle of goo, something he has to peel off the sidewalk and shuck over his shoulders like a superhero. She shamelessly eats off, licks, and sucks her fork like it’s a cock. Or what she imagines a cock is like, never having one near her mouth.

“Can’t wait for your cock.” 

He laughs, low. “Yeah I’m going to fill you up with so much cum, you won’t know what to do with yourself.”

She asks, “You wanna ruin me?”

“I want to make your pussy mine. Not ruin. Two very different things. Eat more of your dinner.”

She obliges, a smile on her face.

\- - -

She successfully comes twice in a row, her body breaking into little tremors and back arching away from him.

Ben thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, right next to watching her finish a bowl of mac and cheese with the biggest smile on her face. She glows post orgasm and holds herself in an innocent way that does way too much for his imagination.

Ben finished his food before her, even though she got a head start. He doesn’t mind, just glad she’s eating something and looking a little happy while doing it. That’s endearing. She speaks, bringing him out of his adoration fest, “Thank you for uh...touching me. It felt really good.” 

His hand flexes at the muscle memory of the pushback of her walls. “I’ll keep doing it because it felt really good to do it.” He knows when he likes something and fingering her is definitely something high on his list. 

She sets the bowl aside and lies back, and he takes that as his cue. “I should get going.”

Her brows furrow, and she says, “Uh...okay. Have a good night.”

His nod feels a little too curt for his liking, but he’s getting up anyway and avoiding her eyes as he walks out of the room.

Before he fully leaves, his back is still to her, “I’m waking you up at seven.”

Her voice sounds a little glum, “Sounds good.”


	6. crush culture makes me want to spill my guts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s eleven fifty three when there’s a knock on her door, and she doesn’t pretend to sleep this time. Her breakfast is untouched on the floor, since she couldn’t stomach food this morning. 
> 
> It’s time to face the music of daddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags  
> Daddy kink  
> Mexican Food eating   
> Mention of staff  
> Mental health stuff

Staff fits in seamlessly with their life.

It takes Rey a solid three days to adjust to a constantly clean house, kept gardens, and more attention from Ben.

Mitaka has proven not to be an insolent idiot, so Ben can actually trust him with menial tasks. 

That gives him more time to spend with Rey, and she’d be lying if she didn’t enjoy his company. Having someone around after a death is healing, even if she’s not talking the trauma of watching her grandfather get sick and die through. 

As much as she likes to act like it doesn’t, it affects her. She has nightmares of chemotherapy, of hospice meetings, of orange prescription bottles and watching a man become so much of a shell that he wouldn’t even insult her anymore. 

She has to admit her psyche is a little...better in a weird way without her grandfather. She finds herself appreciating her wit when she sends Rose a funny meme, or appreciating her body in the mirror before she showers. Things are getting better, and to top it off, Rose and Kaydel are arriving next week to hang out for a few days and witness their wedding.

Though she wakes up wrong this morning. She’s not sure why, but she’s finding it hard to be responsive towards Ben when he comes and brings her breakfast, rolling over and pretending she’s asleep as he sets it on the floor and leaves her to it.

She knows it’s childish but she just feels awful for some reason. Her brain heads into a spiral about him, about how his touching her is infrequent and how she must be unattractive if he’s not touching her. There’s nothing that crosses her mind about how he might just have other things on his mind.

It’s eleven fifty three when there’s a knock on her door, and she doesn’t pretend to sleep this time. Her breakfast is untouched on the floor, since she couldn’t stomach food this morning. It’s time to face the music of daddy.

Ben comes in without her saying so, and he looks at the meal before looking back at her. Then he asks. “What’s wrong?” 

Rey tries to excuse, “Don’t feel good. Kinda sick.” 

“You ate two servings of food last night. I don’t buy it, sorry.” 

She nods and says, “I don’t know. Just not feeling very okay.”

He sighs and nods. Then says, “Get up and get dressed.” 

She furrows her brows and whispers, “I don’t think that’s very necessary-“

“We’re going out to lunch, just you and me. Call it a date, call it a lunch, whatever you want but I think you need to get out with me.” 

She whispers, “Are you sure? I’m not very much fun to be around today-“

“I’m sure. Get dressed, meet me in the garage in ten.” Then he rubs his hands together, walking out of the room and shutting the door. She sighs and then gets up as if her bones don’t ache, walking to her walk-in closet attached to the bathroom. It was renovated to be so, and it’s full to the brim with clothes as she rifles through her sundresses. 

She picks a slim fitting black bodice dress with tie straps, and a relaxed skirt. Her sneakers go on next, with frilly socks that make her feel like a young girl. Maybe that’s the sort of energy she should exude so people don’t fuck with her.

She throws on a long black cardigan over it, despite the heat of the summer outside. Then she works on fixing her depression face, covering up her budding acne with concealer and also her dark circles from spiraling all night the night before. Then she slathers on lip gloss, paints on mascara, and grooms through her brows to put her back together.

Once she feels sufficiently ready, she packs the illusion of a purse: a wallet, lip gloss, keys to the house. Anything else isn’t needed really, not when her phone is glued to her hand as soon as she takes it off the charger and leaves the room.

There are a few texts from Rose that she can get to later, stepping down the stairs and making her way to the garage. Ben is leaning against his truck, arms crossed over his chest as he views her. “I like that dress on you.” 

She blushes deep and asks, “Really?” Ben nods, and loops around the car to open up her door for her. 

She gets in and he slams it, Rey clicking her belt into place as she watches him get in the driver’s side. “Daddy?”

He looks over, like the title is his name. That’s reassuring to say the least. “Can we get a wedding cake? I don’t know how seriously you’re treating this-“

“Whatever you want, you get. It is your money after all.” 

She clasps her hands and then asks, “Well it matters if you want one too. I don’t know, call me crazy but I need you to want it too.” 

He nods to himself, before saying to placate her quietly, “I do want one. I’d love to be fed wedding cake by you.”

That’s all she wanted to hear. 

\- - -

They go to a Mexican restaurant, where he encourages overconsumption of delicious chips and salsa to start.

Watching her munch and crunch, blink like a little fucking doe, and shift around in her seat does something unexplainable to him, and his pants are extremely tight in the crotch area. He’s glad he has a napkin on his lap to hide the bulge of his cock, but there’s no way he’s this hard in a Mexican restaurant just watching her eat something he’s indirectly provided.

“I thought you weren’t hungry.”

She grins for a fleeting second before shoving another salsa loaded chip in her face. Then she talks with a full mouth, “I’m electing to eat for you.” 

He questions, “You know how nice it is when you do what I say? You know how great that feels?” For someone who’s never had a ton of power, at least not these last few years, commanding a girl to eat and being in charge of her pleasure is something that gives him the fucking willies.

She eats another chip as the waiter comes by again, and Ben orders tacos. She goes for the ultimate kid move and gets a quesadilla. He doesn’t blame her; he’d love to eat melted cheese between some tortillas but he feels too old for something like that. Then she makes a last minute order of guacamole as well, with a sheepish smile.

He could care less, rather enjoying watching her actually take care of her body. He asks when the waiter leaves, “So Rose and Kaydel-”

She perks and he goes on, “They’ll need a guest room?”

Rey nods, “Just one. They’re a couple, they’re practically married to be honest.” She eats another chip and brushes through her hair with her fingers like a mermaid with a fork. He wonders, idly, how he might finger her on their wedding night (her libido permitting). Could they hear through the walls?

He answers, “Ah.”

His cock throbs. He wishes he could put a bullet in his brain, because now is not the time to be extremely horny over your wife-not-wife stuffing her face with salsa and now a huge helping of guacamole. It’s not the guacamole that’s got him hard, it’s the fact that she’s enjoying herself so much. 

He sips his water and watches her cross her legs so primly and properly. He has half a mind to dive under this table and lick her cunt until she caterwauls but that wouldn’t be very polite. Instead, he vows to wait her out. 

Their food comes and she eats it with as much excitement as the chips, packing down a whole quesadilla complete with sour cream and even more guacamole and salsa. It inspires him to try to eat all of his own food, because if a depressed girl can do it, a full-grown man can as well.

It also distracts him from his hard on as well, and she waits for him to finish up while scrolling through her phone and occasionally texting people back. He wonders what it's like to have friends who really care about him.

Mitaka has the potential to be a friend, but Ben is also his boss. That would feel like coercion if he were being honest and he takes a long moment to wipe his mouth as he watches Rey smile at her screen. The waiter takes their plates right on time and sets down the check, and Ben puts down his debit card before she can put down hers. 

She frowns and says, “I can pay-“

“I insist. I like paying.” It feels better, more nourishing for his soul if he pays to take care of her. 

She smiles and replies, “Well, I pay next time. Deal?” 

Ben shrugs, “If you remember.”

She taps her head as his card is taken with the check.

“Oh, I will.” 

\- - -

The air is off when she enters the truck.

There’s anticipation running hot and heavy through it, and it’s not her own for once. Ben’s aura screams that he’s expecting something, trying to work up the courage to do something, and Rey wants to encourage it as much as possible.

If she’s being honest, she’s wet. She’s been wet since she got in the car to come here, just building during lunch and capping off to unreasonably squishy levels between her legs when he signed the check and popped a mint in his mouth. 

She rifles through her purse for her lipgloss and reapplies it quickly in the mirror as she watches Ben crack his knuckles in her periphery. Then, like a gunshot going off and as she closes the mirror, he grabs her waist and drags her onto his lap. He forces her legs apart, skirt of her dress restricting them a little but not getting in his way as he pushes it up her thighs.

Her breathing is quick with want as his fingers dance along the front of her panties, jumping a little in sensitivity and allowing a breathy bride-like giggle leave her lips. They’re near the back of the lot, so there won’t be too many prying eyes potentially. His fingers then rub against the gusset, feeling how soft and supple she is beneath the black cotton fabric. He’s poking and prodding, causing her breath to hitch.

“Been waiting all fucking lunch to touch my little girl like this. All wet for daddy, huh?”

His mouth is so vulgar and she’s so pleased. 

“God, watching you take care of yourself looked so fucking good. You’re so hot when you’re healthy.” It’s like a forceful Pavlov dog response building session. He keeps rubbing and she pants, legs twitching as he keeps up his torture.

He pushes her to the edge of coming without even touching beyond fabric and Rey is begging, “Please let me come, I’ll be so good.” 

“You wanna come?” 

She nods fiercely and he chuckles to himself, “Then come. Who am I to stop my sweet girl?” 

The praise lights a fire that turns into a gas explosion very quick as his face buries into her neck, pressing kisses along the skin and creating a feeling unlike any other. 

She doesn’t even know she  _ squirted, _ something she figured was only a fable in porn. To be fair, she did drink a ton of water, and it shows on his jeans.

She’s trembling as she comes down from her orgasm, and Ben holds her close as she does come down. She focuses ahead, on the steering wheel as air leaves her lungs.

Then Ben adjusts her off his lap, but pulls her close to him as she buries her face in his shoulder.

“How was that?”

He’s asking like he’s concerned.

She assuages his worries with a real smile, “Absolutely perfect.” 


	7. want you more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He decides to ask a question that’s been on his mind for the past day or so, ever since it came up in his head like an apparition in a Scooby Doo flick. 
> 
> **“Do you want a honeymoon?”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags  
> Daddy kink  
> Rose and kaydel arrive

Is it possible to hit the dog days of summer at the beginning of July?

It’s so hot at night, even with the fan on. He was fortunate enough to find it in the garage and with some dusting off, he’s got an effective cooling device on his body right now. The window is also open, the screen keeping any potential bugs out.

He can’t sleep, reading about twelve in the morning on the alarm clock. He can’t believe he’s having so much trouble with it, given he worked so hard all day. Today was a huge harvest day and he should be out like a light.

Instead he’s tossing and turning, thinking of the girl in just the other room who’s probably asleep like the dead. What happens when he can’t sleep and they’re married? Does he have clearance to wake her up as her daddy, to relish her with attention so he can put a balm on his soul?

He picks up his phone off the nightstand and unlocks it, seeing no notifications due to the do not disturb. His finger clicks her contact on their text thread, then hovering over the call button. Should he?

He does anyway, holding the phone to his ear and waiting patiently. The likelihood is that she won’t answer, he knows that, but he can’t help but hope.

And hoping apparently works, because the line clicks and she’s speaking, “Ben?”

He asks, so quiet, “Hey honey, did I wake you up?”

She sighs, “No, I was awake unfortunately. Is everything alright?”

He says, “Yes, it’s all fine. Just...I guess I wanted to hear your voice. Thinking about you.” 

She asks, “What about, if I may ask?”

He snorts and answers, “Your skin. How soft it feels under my hands when I hold your hips. I’m thinking about how wet your pussy gets and wondering how I could possibly do that-“

“It’s all you, I promise. I never think about anything else.” 

His stomach flips over and he sits up in bed. “Can I-“

“Yes.” 

He hangs up the phone and launches from bed, throwing on a pair of briefs so he doesn’t intimidate her or flash her unjustly. He’s still not ready for penetrative sex yet, knowing she’s not ready for something like that. It’s too emotionally draining, and she’s a virgin. 

Her first time deserves to be good, and he can’t provide when things feel bad for her. He’s not willing to leave without his fan though, so he drags the standing fan with him as he hauls himself to Rey’s room. Knocking on the door, he hears a soft, “Come in.”

He opens up the door and marches in, setting up the fan before he looks at her. 

She’s wearing a huge tee that has the Yankees logo on the back, and high waisted underwear. The covers are sitting on the backs of her thighs, showing off her ass. He puts his hands on his hips and rocks on his heels, looking for guidance on where to go and touch. Rey then adjusts herself in bed, pulling the covers back next to her and patting the empty side of the bed. 

He gets on top of the mattress, his hand fluttering to the small of her back as he adjusts to lay on his side and watch her intently and in pure silence. Rey leans over and turns on the lamp, looking back over to study his face. 

Their eyes lock and they stare for a solid minute. Then she says, “I haven’t been able to sleep very well this week. Nightmares.”

He bites his lip and whispers, “I’m sorry.” 

She shrugs, “It’s okay. Comes with the territory. Sometimes-“

She stops like she’s contemplating continuing, and he urges her on with a small nod, “Sometimes, I dream my grandfather is still alive but still sick. Those are the worst.”

He says, “He’s in a better place now.”

She shrugs and asks, “Is he?”

He now shrugs, “I’d like to think so. He was my boss, I would wish the best for him in any endeavor.” 

She’s very diplomatic when she wants to be but this is not the case, “He treated you like pure garbage, Ben. You don’t have to act like you like him for my comfort. Like you basically said, he’s gone now. He can’t...affect me anymore.” 

That gets him to pause and she goes on, “Besides, it’s just us. We create our own future now.”

He nods, liking the sound of making a future with her. His back hurts from the day so he rolls over onto it, hand still on the small of hers as she lies on her belly like a wiggly kitten. She’s so fidgety and he asks, “Anything else on your mind?”

She says, “Rose and Kaydel.” 

He questions, “Yeah?”

She explains with a small puff of breath, “What if they meet me and find me annoying? What if they don’t like me? What if I’m so different on the internet and they don’t see anything recognizable to them when they see the reality?” 

He rubs along her tailbone, and reassures, “I’m sure that you are very similar to the internet version of you. I would guarantee it probably.” 

She adjusts herself and then whispers, “I just...it’s two days away and then they’re here. I was thinking we all go out for dinner the night they get here, maybe introduce them to the area? I don’t have a ton of ideas, I’m not used to hosting.” 

He can understand this. “I think those are lovely ideas, honey.” She looks over at him and then reaches out to push hair from flopping into his face. Then her eyes cast down at the sheets, lips upturning into a smile before slating back to serious and her own fingers raking through her loose hair.

He’s never kissed her before, but by god does he want to now. It would feel so good to him probably but he knows he can’t. She’d never want it, he’s not sure how she accepted him kissing her neck in the car while he rubbed over her panties.

She did come but that can’t be related.

Ben scoots closer though, knowing his cock is beginning to harden in his briefs at the lewd thoughts that puncture his brain of her bouncing on top of him, holding his hands tight as she does. He can imagine a part of her belly protruding when he fucks her deep. 

She marvels, “We’ll be married so soon.”

He nods, “Five days or so. I still need to get a suit.” He makes a mental note to head in and do that tomorrow, since there needs to be tailor time. He knows he’ll have to pay out the ass to get someone to rush it but it’ll be worth it to potentially see her face when he wears something other than casual clothes.

His hand drifts down to her ass cheek, squeezing through the fabric of her panties and scooting even closer. He’s hopeless when he wants to give attention, forcing himself on the person more often than not. Rey doesn't seem to mind it though, asking, “So why couldn’t you sleep?”

He answers simply, “Too hot. Can’t sleep when I’m sweating profusely.”

She shrugs, “I can see that. But you also have a fan. I don’t.” 

He furrows his brows, “Do you want one?” 

She shrugs, “I don’t know. I was thinking about getting central air installed but that means we’d have to move out for about two weeks.”

He shakes his head, “Fan it is.” It’s the easier solution, along with him not sleeping with her since he seems to be a furnace. Though Ben doesn’t want to leave her bed tonight, and she reaches to touch his bare chest tenderly, like she’s nervous to feel his skin. It feels so sweet compared to any other feeling.

Then she moves even closer and lays her head back on the pillow, eyes shutting. “Can you pet through my hair?”

He answers like a wisp, “Of course.”

Nothing would soothe his nerves more.

\- - -

The house is clean, the Jazz music flowing through the rooms, and the sunset is far away.

Rose and Kaydel are due here in ten minutes, driving up from Manhattan to visit for a solid five days. The whole affair has her at a fever pitch, and she can’t help but pace around the first floor of the mansion with crossed arms or chewing on her thumbnail. 

Ben is working on his car in the garage, installing new tires or something. He’s been at it for the last two hours, which have been hell for her nerves.

She knows he deals with his anxiety in his own ways, like mechanical work or gardening, but she would really like someone to hold her in place and remind her to take a deep breath before tossing her into the tank of sharks. She peeks out the windows near the front door again, watching the closed gate and their section of forest beyond with the road that stretches to places she can’t dream of.

She walks slowly now, hands trembling as she stares at her white socked feet. She’s chosen to wear a lemon printed wrap dress with ruffled sleeves, a swirling skirt that makes her look like a fifties housewife rife for a vacuum.

Is that what she wants to look like?

It’s too late to choose another outfit and she steps even quicker to the garage and ducks out. She intends to wait in the driveway for them, until she notices Ben is sans shirt and sweaty, leaning against the bed of his truck in his space in the garage. He’s drinking from a bottle of water, rag over his shoulder and fresh tires on his truck, if the four stacked in the corner of the garage are any indicator of success. 

She doesn’t realize her breath is so quick that it sounds like she’s having a panic attack, until he stares at her with worry. “Honey?”

“I’m fine, I promise.” She walks quickly out of the garage, onto the paved driveway and glad she’s wearing socks to protect her feet from the heat of the asphalt. 

He doesn’t follow her surprisingly, and she waits patiently in the beating sun until she hears a car.

Then she he sees a sleek and black Toyota Highlander driving up the road, and Rey pats her sides to try to find her phone to open the gate to no avail.

She calls, “Ben?” 

Almost in response, the gate starts to open and she looks back to the garage, where he’s on his phone and clearly helping her out. Then he disappears inside, probably to get a new shirt so he’s not unpresentable to their guests. The car barely pulls past the gate before the small Asian girl in the driver’s seat parks it and flings herself from the car to tackle Rey into a hug.

“I can’t believe I’m meeting you! Oh my god, you’re so gorgeous in person, how is that possible-“

Rose is talking a mile a minute and Rey can’t help but begin to blubber in sobs at the fact that one of her only friends is  _ here _ . “Oh no, don’t cry. Oh god, I’m sorry-“

Rey cries, “It’s fine, I just can’t believe you’re holding me right now.” Her hands are on her shoulders, holding her tight and keeping her tethered to the earth. She wipes her eyes pathetically, seeing black smear on the backs of her knuckles and indicating her mascara on that eye is probably gone or in her cornea.

Kaydel has gotten out of the car by now, and is timidly standing by. Rose lets go of Rey as soon as she notices and Rey runs to hug Kaydel. “Sorry, where are my manners?”

Kaydel laughs and wipes her eyes in an intimate act that gives her chills. Ben comes walking up to the car with a fresh shirt, a black tee that clings to him in the right ways and shows off his biceps. Seeing him through another person’s eyes makes her realize how often she takes how hot he is for granted.

She clears her throat, seeing Rose starting for him, “This is Ben, my-“

What is he? Fiancé? That feels a little formal for this sort of arrangement but there’s nothing else that really fits. Ben finishes, “Husband, in two days.” 

Rose shakes his hand and inspects him, “So what do you do Ben?” Here comes the grilling.

He gestures that they start back for the house to regroup and decide what they want to do for dinner soon. They still need to drive to town for it, and he answers Rose, “I’m a landscaper for the property.”

Rose looks back at her with raised eyebrows and Rey can imagine her stuffy ass at twenty-one, preaching all about how she won’t marry “lower-class” if her grandfather had anything to say about it. Look at her now, growing the fuck up. “Very nice. I assume all the flowers on Rey’s instagram are your doing?”

He nods, “Usually. I didn’t get much help until these days.” Rey waits for Kaydel to catch up with the bags, Ben and Rose also stopping. 

Ben says, offering out his hands to Kaydel, “I’ve got them if you want-“

“It’s okay, I can do it.” She offers him a big smile and he nods, beginning to lead the way again and Rose catching up with him with her smaller legs.

“Are you going to keep gardening after you guys get married?”

He nods, “It soothes me, I would feel incomplete without it.” The fact that he has one of those essential hobbies makes her jealous sometimes. Here she sits, with boring and debilitating depression, and Ben can get relief through gardening. It’s hardly fair.

Maybe she needs to find her niche but it seems impossible when you’re a girl with barely a personality sometimes. She’s like a fish wrapped in wet newspaper: unpleasant all around. She’s determined though and all she wants is to be normal. 

Kaydel asks Rey, as she carries the bags, “So...this place is really fucking swanky.”

Rey nods, “It’s nice yeah. Hot inside though, no AC. We ordered some fans, they will come tomorrow.”

Rose asks Ben, “Did you go to college?” 

He replies, “Yes, for botany. Actually, I could take you on a comprehensive tour of the grounds if you would like. I know a ton and would love to gush to someone about what I’ve tended to.”

Kaydel mumbles, “Impressive guy. He’s also um…”

Rey replies, under her breath, “Huge?” 

That’s her lewd brain talking and she looks over at Kaydel and hopes she didn’t actually hear that. She did though, and is giggling slightly as they enter into the garage. Kaydel sets their bags by her Jaguar. They all collect near the truck and Ben starts, “So Rey and I wanted to take you guys out to dinner in town.” 

“I was thinking sushi, there’s also Italian. Lots of options, right Rey?”

She naturally gravitates to him, and grabs his hand gently. He doesn’t seem taken aback but it’s a huge step for them. She drifts by his side and replies, “Right. Unless you guys have eaten on the way.” 

Rose and Kaydel shake their head, “No, we’re good to eat when you guys are. Whenever that is.”

Ben and Rey nod in sync and then Ben says, “Well we should get a head start on driving, probably. Do you guys want to park your car in the garage? I can move my truck.”

Kaydel replies, “I’ll go move it closer to the garage in a minute but I think it’s fine outside. This place is in the sticks, behind a gate.”

Rey laughs, “Don’t I know it.” She lets go of Ben’s hand and moves to push hair from his face, idly. He seems to enjoy this.

Rose interrupts, “I could use a cup of coffee before I go, I might fall asleep on you guys.” 

Rey nods, “Let’s head in, Ben will make you coffee and then we’ll head out.” They all nod in agreement and Rey leads the way inside of the house through the entry into the garage. Kaydel continues to bring the bags in, and sets them near the stairs at Rey’s direction as they pass them

They make it to the kitchen and Ben starts the process of getting the French press ready. He dumps grounds in the bottom, then turning on the electric kettle that Rey hasn’t noticed until now. Did he buy a new kettle for her coffee consumption every day?

Rose and Kaydel sit at the breakfast bar and Rey doesn’t know where to go so she stands near Ben as he waits patiently for the water to boil. Rose asks, “So how are you two feeling about the wedding?”

Ben answers first, thankfully, “Pretty calm but Rey has barely let me handle anything.”

She gives a sheepish smile, “I have. I’ve been unfortunately overbearing when it came to this thing.”

Rose asks, “Did you find an officiant?”

Rey balks, and Ben looks at her expectantly. She didn’t, she knew she was forgetting something but how could it be the most major part of the fucking affair? They need someone to sign the license they pick up in the morning. She feels her throat start to close and she manages to croak out, “I forgot.”

Rose looks nervous and she quickly hops up as Rey clutches at her throat like she can’t breathe. “Hey, it’s okay! It takes only a few hours to get officiated in New York, Kaydel or I could do it tonight or tomorrow.” 

She stares at Rose before whimpering and Rose reassures, “If not, I am sure there is some priest or some shit willing to come to your house, I mean you’re rich enough clearly.”

She can’t help but laugh at that, knowing that money will truly be no problem for the rest of her life. Rey, when she finishes up her degree, plans on working if she can. Her grandfather never really instilled the need for hard work, always insisting she was a lady who would marry good stock (that should’ve been her first clue about the will). She wants to work hard, she wants to get her hands dirty and make something of her own. Poli-sci is a pretty blanket degree but she’s sure that with a name like Palpatine, she could get anywhere. It’s time to use her privilege to her advantage, rather than to hurt others. 

“What I’m saying is that you don’t have to worry.”

Kaydel pipes up, “I’ll get ordained, I’m totally down. Imagine being able to marry people. The power that exudes.”

The kettle begins to whistle, and Rey feels a lot better.

\- - -

They eat dinner at an Italian restaurant.

Ben is nervous the entire time obviously, legs bouncing beneath the table between each course as the girls talk and talk over two bottles of wine. Ben drives them home after some ice cream, feeling like the ultimate father with the minivan and the Golden Retriever.

He takes the opportunity of Rey, Rose, and Kaydel watching a movie to excuse himself outside. He needs to get some more work done ahead of tomorrow. He actually doesn’t, he’s already ahead thanks to Mitaka, but being around them makes him nervous that they’ll find a reason to hate him.

It’s dark, he’s got his headlamp on, and he’s pulling weeds with gloved hands. It’s dark out, moon high in the sky. Rey calls, from a distance, “Ben!”

He looks up, onto the deck where she stands at the back door and holds a mug. He stands upright and bounds up the stairs to her, stopping before her and flipping off his headlamp so it doesn’t shine into her face. She blinks at the adjustment of the light not being in her eyes anymore, and offers him a wide smile.

Then she says, “Rose and Kaydel went upstairs to go hang out in their room. And I-“

She looks bashful for such a fleeting moment that he wants to rewind and capture that face like a picture on film. He clears his throat to encourage her to go on and she does, “I thought you would want to put me to bed.” 

Would he ever. He likes her before sleep, having frequented her room these past nights under the pretense of it being so hot he can’t sleep. He says, “Okay. Let’s go.” He takes off his headlamp and gloves, and she lets him walk past her into the house. He sets the gear on the countertop and then turns around to direct her to go upstairs.

That’s when she pounces, close as possible to him. Her lips press against his and his arms constrict around her to smash her closer and greedily consume the kiss. She lets him, even allowing him to lift her off the ground and into his arms as they make out. The kiss feels like a lightning strike across the lips, and he can’t help but be totally under her spell.

He sets her on the counter as they kiss, his lips smashing against hers and pulling her close to him. He wants to make her feel brilliant, and his hand comes between their bodies, skating against the countertop and under her skirt.

His fingers rub up and down the crotch of her panties and she wiggles from the contact. The giggles she emits are melting him like a snowman in the summer, and he pulls away from her lips to look down at his ministrations, wrist and fingers hidden by her skirt pulled back in place. 

“You know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?”

He smiles, “Sorry to keep you waiting. DIdn’t know you wanted that.”

She sighs, dreamily, “I’m crazy about you, of course.” 

He nods, knowing there are definitely better things to be crazy about than him. If Rey wants to however, she gets to. His fingers push on the piece of fabric and push it aside, pushing in his middle finger down to his knuckle.

He slides it in and out and watches her mouth open and shut, a moan leaving her pretty lips after a moment as she grabs the back of his tee and knots her fist into it. She practically seats herself deep on his finger then, shuddering as he pushes against the fleshy top wall. “Let me get one more in.” 

She nods and he quickly and smoothly gets another finger inside, his index this time. He pushes his fingers in and out of her in a slow motion, lifting his head to lock their eyes. Her mouth is parted, hand on her breast where she moved her top aside with her finger coasting over her nipple. His thumb twists up to rub circles into her clit, keeping a steady rhythm of fucking her with his fingers and pleasuring her.

He decides to ask a question that’s been on his mind for the past day or so, ever since it came up in his head like an apparition in a Scooby Doo flick. “Do you want a honeymoon?”

She furrows her brows and he’s afraid he’s said something wrong, so his fingers slow. Rey replies, quickly, “I do. But I thought-“

He says, “I want one too. I think it would be fun.” Laying somewhere on a beach, sipping cocktails and applying tanning oil to her back is just one of the many ways to win his heart. 

She replies, quick as a shot, “I’ll plan one. We’ll go before the summer is over.” 

He hopes she’s being serious.


End file.
